Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Here in the dark

I have been playing Bon Iver's version of "Can't Make You Love Me/Nick of Time" for hours...days...

I kept telling Amanda;  I'd say, "this moment right here...this is one of those times I wish I could stop time and stay in this moment forever."  As for the trip, the best time I can remember thinking that was when we were on the bus waiting to get off at the Golden Gate Bridge.  Just being able to see it out of the front of the bus felt surreal.  Then getting off the bus and being in its presence was beyond surreal.  I felt...alive.  I dunno why.  I don't need to be around a wonder of the world or whatever to feel that way but just to be near something that means so much to so many people felt fucking perfect.  I'm not one to look at a bridge and see beauty...but that bridge is fucking beautiful.  I may live forever or I may die in my sleep tonight but either way...I'll never forget that memory.  It will stick with me forever.  Looking down at the framework and seeing coins and glass and bracelets gave me a certain closeness to the bridge.  It goes through so much and still excudes utter perfection.  I love it.  
And as for Amanda... I may not be able to form words for how I feel about her.  In some ways, I don't like that.  But in most ways, me not being able to formulate words for how I feel is nice for once.  It's nice to not be able to think of a single word to describe my joy for a particular thing.  It really is.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Jurica Honeysuckle

For someone so seemingly misunderstood, she understands me.  Not much needs to be said other than I know she'll be there for me throughout my entire life.