Just yesterday

I was talking to someone I hadn't seen in a while.  We were carrying on a serious conversation and I was responding, making a point, and in mid-sentence I forgot what point I was trying to make and just stood there like an idiot.  I do that ALL THE TIME.  I hate it.  Mental paralysis.

good job, crocodile

3sphynxmom: i learned to stop caring so much about what people thought of me

i focused so much on what other people wanted for me and how i should be perceived by others. once i quit that, i was fine and so much happier.

Krista: but i feel like you werent actually normal until you met her.

sierra made you seem crazy as well.

3sphynxmom: no here's the difference

im not obsessing over courtney

i obsessed over everyone i was with

i felt like i wasnt good enough, they didnt like me enough, i had to prove something.

i didn't trust or understand. i put so much effort into the people i was with that i would get lost in who they were, and lose myself.

it was unhealthy.

Krista: i agree

i wonder how you changed.

3sphynxmom:i was fed up with feeling that way

Krista: ohh okay

well good job

3sphynxmom: i know im a good person and deserve someone equally as good. i have ONE life. ONE.

i wasn't going to spend it being miserable and chasing people that didn't want me how i wanted them.

Krista: im proud of you

3sphynxmom: :)

Krista: you took the pro-active approach which i believe is the correct one

3sphynxmom: what's the alternative

Krista: the "it'll happen when it's supposed to" approach

3sphynxmom: you have to make good things happen. good things happen to people that deserve them.

Krista: a lot of people spend their time being miserable waiting for the 'right time' but they don't realize they need to create this right time.

3sphynxmom: if you sit around basking in your problems and never change them...nothing will change. it's logical.

Krista: "the first thing you should do is take a look at your life and then, if necessary, get out of your own way."

Yap