Bitter/Not Sweet

It's hard to write down my emotions because they change from one second to the next. In five minutes, these feelings will have subsided and I'll be fine. Then, they will come back. They always come back. It may takes weeks or months, but they always do.

Sometimes I feel like I'm holding onto something. Holding onto something that I never had in the first place. Holding onto nothing. A thought.. a brief moment where I felt wanted.

It's not about attraction or lust. It's about not succeeding. Not being "that person" for someone. For most people, when someone is distant, they try harder to keep that person close to them. They go the extra distance to show how much they care. Love obviously played a huge part, but the other part was the need to feel like I changed someone for the better. I didn't and that kills me. It shouldn't. It shouldn't because they aren't worth it. And not even in a mean way. They just aren't worth me breaking my own heart over. Especially if it's mostly about me, anyway.

Although I have brief, bitter, sad moments, I am okay and I've been okay since I walked away.

It's easy to walk away when there was no one to walk away from in the first place.