2

To me, being gay is wrong. I mean, that’s what I’ve been told my entire life, so then it’s true, right? That’s something I have debated with since the first time I realized that I was strongly attracted to another girl, and this inner debate has created a whirlwind of emotions that are impossible to tame. You know, there are people who think people aren’t gay, they are just hurt. But I beg to differ. I had the best family life. I had all the friends and all the acceptance I could ever want. I didn’t have the capacity to feel the hurt and pain that counselors tell me are characteristic of people who are attracted to members of the same sex.

So why was I blindsided in seventh grade with feelings for a girl I had never met? I mean, I was obsessed. Why was I never able to get the butterflies before dates with guys, and why, even when I long with every cell in my body to be “normal”, am I completely overtaken with desire for sexual, emotional, and mental connection strictly with females?

That’s what makes me know. This is who I am. I can’t change how I feel, and I don’t want to. Being gay makes me a stronger person. Not a stronger person than a straight person, or a stronger person than if I were straight. I am a stronger person because I am able to realize that I am different in a way that most people don’t accept, and I don’t deny myself real connection with another human being to obtain acceptance from those people.

I know that one day, being gay will be the same as belonging to a culture, and truly, that’s what I want. I go to Pride because its fun. But in reality, I don’t agree with it. I think that if we want being gay to be accepted, we need to treat it like its normal. Straight people don’t have marches. Gay people are allowed in straight clubs- so we should go. We should be normal, and surround ourselves with people who don’t see as us gay, they see us for who we are. I don’t want to be defined as a gay person. I want to be defined as any other person would be- with words like thoughtful, smart, profound, and funny.