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What does being gay mean to you? I was asked by a good friend to write whatever I felt about this question. It took me a while to mull over in my mind and I finally came to this conclusion: To me, being gay doesn't mean anything more or less than the fact that, upon the realization that I am in fact gay, I completed my true identity. Growing up in a society where little boys played baseball, caught bugs and just plain loved getting dirty then went on to grow up to be big boys who played football, caught the girl and still loved getting dirty, I felt very out of place. I didn't know why this was. Maybe I just didn't like sports or bugs or even getting dirty. Or maybe I just didn't like girls. I always knew something was different about myself and that something separated me from the other little boys in school but never knew what it was. It's the norm in America for people to follow their set paths, so to speak. Specifically, if you're born a boy, you are to grow up and marry a nice, pretty girl, have a family and live happily every after. If you are born a girl, you were expected to find the guy who treated you better than anyone else and who would be willing to marry you and give you that family that your parents, grand parents, friends and society just knew you'd have. But what if, by some unknown force, I wanted to find that boy? What if I wanted that one guy who treated me better than anyone else in the world? For all the straight people of the world, let me ask you this: Do you remember when you started liking the opposite sex? Think way back to your early adolescence when those weird feelings started to surface and you were that little girl and who started to actually like that little boy that bullied you or when you were that little boy that really didn't mind getting cooties from Susie-what's-her-name. That was probably a confusing time. You likely went and asked your mom or dad about these feelings that you were having to which they probably said something to the extent of, "Sweetie, you just have a crush on (insert opposite sex's name here)." You probably thought about this for a little while and even talked about it with your friends and after some time, you just slid right into that niche that society so nicely set for you. The end, right? Not for me. Do me a favor and take off your shoes, then slip mine onto your feet for a second. On the playground, all I wanted to do was play house with the cootie-ridden girls. All I could think of when that boy pushed that girl was "Why can't he push me?" All I wanted to do was bake cookies with my mom, play with my neighbor's dolls and stay as clean as humanly possible. However, not once was I told this behavior was okay. Not once did my parents, peers, teachers, or anyone else tell me that it was okay to be me because that was all I was doing. No one ever told me what gay was or what I would feel if I were gay. Most people tend to hide behind their beliefs and, as a result, were completely blinded to the fact that I was suffocating in my own body and that I was dying to let my true self out. Straight people are not forced to stifle who they are. In fact, they are encouraged to be themselves whereas, if I ever mentioned my feelings to someone, they just told me what I was feeling was a phase and it would pass. My shoes felt too tight and no one told me that I was not only trying to wear them on the opposite feet on which I was told but that it was alright to do so! As stated earlier, I said that I completed my true identity when I finally accepted that I was gay. Yes, I am gay. I am a homosexual male that does, in fact, like other males whether or not this fact is comprehensible, but I would like to say something that I don't think a lot of people realize. I, Reice Cameron Raudry, am also a book worm, a jazz connoisseur, a lover of people, dogs and court T.V. I love good wine, food and movies. I am someone's friend, someone's son, someone's enemy. I attend college, concerts and parties. I cry when I'm sad, laugh when I'm happy, sleep when I'm tired and shiver when I'm cold. I have feelings just like everyone else and I have a pulse just like everyone else but most importantly, I am a human, just like you. The only difference: I have a sexual preference that differs from yours. Knowing this, the fact that I truly know who I am, what I like and who I love, solidifies the person that I am. I now whole-heartedly know that I am me.